| dammit bunny |
[Jul. 10th, 2009|07:23 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  pissed off | ] |
Chris texted me yesterday and invited me to CO to see Blink 182 with him. Of course, I knew that they were touring and I told Jason that it wouldn't be the same without Chris and yada yada. So, I was feeling all bummed that I couldn't go anyway, then he told me who they are touring with. Weezer and Taking Back Sunday. It is like GOD took my three favorite bands (excluding Hole and Led Zep) and put them on tour together. Not only that but i have seen all three in concert and, oh yeah, they were my top three bands to see live. DAMMIT
I decided that maybe it was worth checking to see who would be on the show here. I mean, I'm sure Jason or Cora would go with me. Cora loves Blink. So, I looked it up. Fall Out Boy and Panic at the Disco. WTF???? I want Weezer and TBS!!!! That's not even fair! |
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| Books! in the To Be Read Stack |
[Jul. 9th, 2009|06:52 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  determined | ] |
Here's the update because I know that I posted it a long time ago.
1. DivaCode by Miss Piggy (Shut up. lol)
2. Boxers
3. Tenth Grade Bleeds by the fabulous Heather Brewer
4. Derby Girl by Henry Holt
5. 1000 Ways to be a Slightly Better Woman
6. Live Alone and Like It (I realize that I do not actually live alone but, well, I may as well.)
7. Alice in Wonderland (for the 400000th time.)
8. Confessions of an Heiress by Paris Hilton
9. Dirty Blonde: The Diaries of Courtney Love (Swoon!)
10. the Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman
11. The Only True Genius in the Family by Jennie Nash
12. The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
13. Heart-Shaped Bax by Joe Hill
14. Inkdeath by Funke
15. Pretty in Plaid : A Life, A Witch, and A Wardrobe, or the Wonder Years before the Condescending, Egomaniac, Self-Centered Smart Ass Phase
16. The One Hundred (clothing every woman should own)
17. Butter at the Old Price by Marguerite de Angeli
18. some personal finance book. I love these but they are all the same. lol
19. The Age of Innocence by Edith Wharton (second time)
20. Blood Roses by Francesca Lia Block
21. The Waters and the Wild by FLB
22. How to (Un)Cage a Girl by FLB
23. Yoga Chick
And I am bound and determined to get through these all by the end of the year at the latest. lol. Though I am just flying through them right now. I did, however, stack them by how quickly I thought I could get through them until Age of Innocence. Then anything new goes under that. |
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| A day off... |
[Jul. 7th, 2009|07:03 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  awake | ] |
What will I do?
The house needs cleaned, even though I started last night, and I swore I'd spend an hour weeding but what about the rest of the day? Will I stay home and read, work on my packing list for this weekend and the thank you cards that need to go out by Friday? Or should I call Melissa and see if she wants to go to town with me and spend a little money? Maybe I should see if Mom wants to do something??
The truth is that I don't know if I can stand being home alone all day. But I also know that I should. Hm. |
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| I've been waiting to post... |
[Jul. 6th, 2009|08:23 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  frustrated | ] |
I've been waiting to post because I wanted to put up the first pictures from this year's cemetery visits but haven't actually had time to upload them to my computer yet. Oh well.
It has been anything but a peaceful morning in the Smyczak-Thouin household. As soon as I got up, the animals were at each other. At this point, it's just playing but Delilah is a cry baby and starts to howl if Shelby even looks at her. Ironic because Delilah is usually the one to start the fights by ninja diving onto Shelby's head. So, this morning, I was working out. Now, I have my mornings before my shower planned pretty much to the minute. I have to be done working out by 7:30 because I have to have my breakfast gone by 7:40 because I have to be out of the shower by 8 so that my hair is dry enough to style by 8:45. Anyway, I was working out and I only had to do 20 min today. I had just done my 10 min of boot camp and was just getting started on my 10 min of pilates...
Shelby had Delilah trapped behind the entertainment center, which is not allowed because I have these horrible visions of the cat on National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. Delilah runs back and forth from one end to the other and Shelby meets her each time. Well, the TV flickered and, even though I had been yelling at them with no real results, that was enough for me. I paused my video and seperated the animals. I started the video again and BAM, they were right back to it. I paused the video seperated and spanked them both. I started the video again and BAM! Delilah runs behind the entertainment center. On her way in, she managed to unplug the TV and satelitte with her little furry butt.
I was, of course, FURIOUS. See, this is the thing, we have rules. We have boundaries. If Delilah is in her room and shut up, Shelby follows them to a tee. If Shelby is out with Jas, Delilah follows them to a tee. But together it's like there are no rules. When they aren't wrestling, they are cooking up partnerships where Delilah pushes my lip balm off the desk and Shelby eats it. (Green apple is her favorite so far, by the way.)
Needless to say, Mama Rach effing lost it this morning. Seperate, spank, and lecture. A lot of swearing. I didn't get the second half of my work out because I apparently can't use the VCR/DVD while the satelitte takes 10 min to reprogram itself. Instead, I fed the animals and myself. Shelby, being a dog and able to sense her human's emotions, was great. She sat and waited for her food and didn't try to eat the kitten's food or chase the kitten for a good half house. Delilah, on the other hand, is a cat and does whatever the hell she wants. She got on the kitchen table and I swear to God that Shelby was shaking her head and saying, "I wouldn't do that right now if I were you..."
My mother tells me that all moms lose it at one point or another but I pride myself on my ability to NOT lose it. Still, it's been decently peaceful since the kitten got spanked for being on the table... five times (though not hard at all) while I said, "No! No! No! No! No!" |
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| Retraining |
[Jul. 2nd, 2009|07:51 am] |
You know, retraining yourself to just relax after a particularly hectic term is damn hard. This morning I have no where to go until 11:30. I told myself to just relax and read and take my time, don't try to do everything today and don't try to do it all in ah hour. But there is a part of me that keeps rushing forward to the next thing. I read my magazine and I'm thinking about checking my e-mial. I check my e-mail and I'm thinking about what I'm going to eat for lunch even though I haven't ate breakfast yet.
So, I've been doing this exercise lately to bring myself into the now. I mean, let's face it. If I don't get my stress level down, I will have a heart attack before 30. I don't doubt it one bit. Anyway, if I feel myself rushing around in time, I stop, take a deep breath, and name five things about now. I try to make them happy or beautiful things. Like:
5 Things About Now:
1. Pineapple candle.
2. Eatting carrots.
3. My nice warm sweatshirt.
4. Black and white and purple.
5. The old barn out the window.
See? Now I feel a little more grounded in what I am doing and where I am. I'm not at work yet so why am I worried about how busy it might be? I should be tasting these carrots instead!
I don't want to be idle until September and I am not suggesting that at all. I have plans and I want to keep busy (so I don't think too much about damned death) but I also want to live in the now. I'm planning on taking up yoga again and maybe even working on some meditation. I need to calm myself down a bit. |
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| Tomorrow! |
[Jun. 25th, 2009|12:21 pm] |
Tomorrow is the housewarming party and we are all aflutter with things to be done. Jason is meeting me when I get out of work and we're getting lunch and groceries. When we get home I plan on spending a large part of the afternoon weeding in the "garden" with Delilah and Shelby. Jason will probably mow the lawn. The house just needs a little cleaning. Actually, now that I think about it, it doesn't feel like there is much to be done. Maybe it is just the common stress of 50-100 people coming to the house.
It's beautiful out too. Maybe Jason and I can take a walk today? Or maybe it would be better if we waited until we get home so we can take Shelby with us. I'm also going to ask J to mow me a path. |
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| Summer Haiku 3 |
[Jun. 25th, 2009|06:50 am] |
A/C doesn't work
Open all of the windows
House is hot as hell |
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| Summer Haiku 2 |
[Jun. 24th, 2009|08:13 am] |
Turn on the A/C
Just to get dressed in the morn
Damn it's just so hot
Today I have to move the kitten into the downstairs bathroom because I discovered that the second story of my house turns into a giant sauna during the day. When I went t bed last night it was easily 90 in my bedroom. I had the windows open and the fan going but there wasn't a breeze so the fan just moved around the warm air. This morning I got up and opened all of the windows, cooling the house down to 72. There's a little breeze today but I'm down wind from the dairy farm again.
Today is also my first teen program and I'm super nervous. I want this to go well. It doesn't help that I have my mom constantly reminding me that these things are important, that everything is a test.
Finally, I have the most amazing heat rash EVER. I hope Burt's Bee's Res-Q Ointment helps. But that's what you get for scrubbing a shower in a 100 degree bathroom. |
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| Constructing Summer |
[Jun. 23rd, 2009|08:28 am] |
Flip-flops wet from the
Dew clinging to the tall Grass
Summertime is here
There it is. A haiku. Man I hate haikus. When I used to be a poet, I thought they were feeble attempts as creativety, not real poems. Now I'm writing them. Puke. Anyway, that is my first Summer Haiku. Expect many to follow.
I was just bumming about how I miss summer EVERY YEAR for one reason or another. The real reason is that summer makes me homesick for things I try not to think about. Well, Simple Abundance insists that I face these things and live today so, dammit, I will. :) Today I'm going to look for porch furniture with Mom and we're going to get lunch and take it to the park. (Score!) I'm also going to write summer haiku's all summer and drink effing lemonade. Lemonade! How decadent! I even filled my CD changer magazine with new music.
1. Girl's Night mix
2. Liz Phair's Whip Smart
3. The Used
4. The Wasted and Ready mix
5. Taking Back Sunday's Where You Want to Be
6. Stone Temple Pilot's "12 Gracious Melodies"
7. Sublime's Greatest Hits
8. Blink 182's Blink 182
9. Hole's Celebrity Skin
10. Pink Spiders
11. Misfit's Collection II
12. Everclear's Songs from an American Movie, vol 1
And so, maybe a day late, summer starts now. |
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| Time for some cleaning! |
[Jun. 21st, 2009|07:05 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  chipper | ] |
I don't think that I have ever been THIS excited about it, either...
I decided earlier this week that I needed to deep clean the house before the party. I know that no one will notice the dirt in my corners but I know it's there and it has been driving me mad all week. The best part about a good deep cleaning is that I do it by room. I'll start in the master bath closet, then move to the master bath, then the master bed. You get the idea. So, what I don't get done today is no big deal. I can just pick up where I left off throughout the week.
I have a little bit of homework to do, too, but I'm not concerned. It looks like I'm going to keep myself busy enough to not eat everything in the house! Yay! |
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| 25 part 2 |
[Jun. 16th, 2009|10:05 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  disappointed | ] |
Well, it was a nice enough day.
Now I feel like I should have spent it on homework and housework. Then I would be able to go to bed now, rather than spending the next hour on homework.
Sigh.
I wish I was a bit more responsible. |
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| 25 |
[Jun. 16th, 2009|06:44 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  excited | ] |
Eep. It's my birthday. I already got my first "happy birthday" from my wonderful man. I am so excited about spending the day with my mom. She's getting me a fancy McDonald's coffee, A&W for dinner, and maybe something small from the shops in Lexington. Maybe I'll get something smelly as I have been super concerned with the smell of my house most recently. D, at work, told me about a little cemetary ust north of Lexington and we might scope that out as well as work on my other special project. :)
I was thinkin yesterday about how awesome I would be at being white trash. Like, I would be perfectly happy to live in a trailer. My trailer would be fabulous. lol. When I was in high school, my group of friends, including Missy, Sara, Janae, and myself, discussed buying a trailer when we graduated. Janae dropped out of the plan because she was going away to college. We figured that doublewides have three bedrooms. There was no argument over who got the big room. That was the only room my bed would fit in. We made up budgets and everything.
Sometimes, Missy and I talk about it still. We wish we would have done it. By now, Sara would be gone and Missy and I would be there alone probably. We would have moved it to some land and we would be keeping goats. Haha. I would be working on making our land self-sufficient with the help of my florist friend. Things would be so different, a different kind of happy. Anyway, sometimes I wonder what would have happened if we would have one through with those plans we made, childish or not. |
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| Feeling the Need |
[Jun. 12th, 2009|06:11 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  thoughtful | ] |
Lately I have been feeling the need to vent. I haven't vented because I don't want to make someone listen to my bullshit all of the time. Who knew? I thought that my bullshit was actually conversation...
It's just that there are times when I feel like I am running around, trying to catch dishes as they fall out of a cupboard. So and so is mad at me so I run to salvage that relationship. I have an assignment due today that I haven't started so I rush over and rush through it. The puppy hasn't been outside to run without a leash so I put off something to take her out for fifteen minutes. Jason works all week so I try to fit cleaning the house into a couple of hours a week. Put out this fire. Walk on these eggshells. Keep a pulled together look about you so that no one knows exactly how much you manage to do, how much you work behind the scenes.
And it's not fair. I do so much for everyone else and so much to keep it all in one piece, that at the end of the day I am too exhausted to even read. I end up staring at the TV mindlessly for an hour before bed. The most time I can take for myself on a typical weekday is the hour in front of the TV and the first hour after I wake up, which I spend working out and journaling. There's no time for writing anymore. I could get up earlier, I suppose, but I'm having a hard enough time making it through the day like it is.
On top of this, I have started to notice the number of selfish people in my life. The people that take and take and when I refuse to give or when I give something that they don't realize is a gift, they decide to just not talk to me, to inundate me with so much guilt that I have to have a half hour conversation with Melissa (one of the two people I can actually count on in this world) about what I may or may not have done wrong.
I think this may be one of the times when I have it worse than most and I don't want your pity. I just want your understanding, your cooperation. Maybe if you took the time to notice unstead of worrying about being the center of the universe, you would see that I am just trying to make you smile but that it's harder than it's ever been because the spunk is gone out of my step. And, maybe, if you can't see that, you aren't my friend after all. Maybe I should quit trying to hold it all together.
There. I do feel better. :) |
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| I'm feeling better today... |
[Jun. 11th, 2009|06:47 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | excited | ] |
Mostly because I have decided that I would rather try to do everything and worry all of the time than not do everything and feel like I might have a panic attack at any moment because I didn't do everything.
When did I become such a basket case?
So, today, back on the horse. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 9th, 2009|09:14 pm] |
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I am just feeling tired of EVERYTHING. There is nothing I want to do and I am lonely and it sucks. |
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| Pet Peeve of the Day |
[Jun. 6th, 2009|11:36 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | annoyed | ] |
You do not know it all. I don't know it all. None of us know it all.
You are 20. I am 25. We have struggled with COMPLETELY different issues. It is probably not the best idea to tell me how to lose weight when I am 50 lbs lighter than my heaviest and you have maintained a constant weight forever. It is also not prudent to inform me that I am not eatting nutritionally.
Now, I know that you are young but there is one important thing that you must learn in order to succeed in life. Everyone has to live their own life. Give me advice and your opinions. Present them in a factual matter. But the honest to goodness truth is that I don't care. I think you are snotty and ignorant. You are so closed to everyone else's views that your opinions and advice matter only to yourself and your narrow mind set.
Okay. That's all. |
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| Things You Probably Need to Know About Me |
[Jun. 6th, 2009|07:07 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  busy | ] |
Things You Probably Need To Know About Me: A/V Edition
I think the best shows on TV right now are:
Ghost Hunters
Paris Hilton's My New BFF (shut up)
How I Met Your Mother
I think the best show NOT on TV is:
Daria
The show I think I would like but haven't watched yet is:
Meh... Nothing. I really hate TV. It's like crack
The show I am most anticipating is:
10 Things I Hate About You... Let's see how it stacks up.
My go-to movies for repeat viewings are:
The Royal Tenenbaums
I will watch any movie starring:
John Cusack
I will listen to any CD by:
Led Zeppelin
Hole
My favorite musical soundtracks are:
Wizard of Oz
Hedwig and the Angry Inch
My favorite Beatles song:
I'm Looking Through You
My favorite Regina Spektor song:
The one Liz put on a mix CD for me. lol
My favorite Weezer song:
El Scorcho
My favorite Simon and Garfunkel song:
Cecilia (Though, I wish I could just go with Paul Simon and make it 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover)
My favorite Britney Spears song:
Nothing. Sorry. She's shit.
My favorite movie soundtracks:
Royal Tenenbaums
Juno
Grind
My favorite Disney movie:
Sleeping Beauty
My favorite song from a Disney Movie:
I don't know. Isn't that bad?
My favorite songs at this exact moment are:
Paper Planes by MIA
Come on Eileen by Dexy's Midnight Runners
Up on Cripple Creek
What would your answers be?
(I'm serious. I want to know! Your favorite Simon and Garfunkel tune says a lot about your personality, ya know) |
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| The Day Before |
[Jun. 5th, 2009|06:27 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | excited | ] |
Tomorrow is my birthday party and things are all a twitter around here.
This morning I had to go to Mom's house early to have my hair dyed. I went with a dark brown and actually acheived the color that I had been envisioning for a few summers now. It will fade within the week but I love it right now.
Then we had to go to town for groceries and get those last minute things I kept forgetting. I needed Peachtree for one of the drinks, plus cranberry and pineapple juice. Then there were the fruits and veggies for the kabobs (chicken or sausage with pineapple, onion, and green pepper). We bought up some extra water and bacon in case anyone stays the night.
When we got home there was still just as much to do. I passed out for 20 minutes on the bedroom floor then planted my gardens (finally). Jason mowed some more and worked a little on the bonfire pit. I still need to cut and marinade the chicken and sweep the floors plus work on some homework.
It's funny, really, how big my birthday party gets to be. Like, Jason asked me why I can't jsut have a dinner like a normal person this year. The truth is that I like to have everyone together and I like to watch everyone get drunk and have a good time. There should be good food, because I love food, and, if possible, some great music. This year I have a four layer cake coming (compliments of Missy) and a few extra dogs. I'm quite excited. |
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| Smells |
[Jun. 4th, 2009|08:30 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  mellow | ] |
So, I hate the way my house smells...
It has it's own scent about it which isn't really like stinky or anything but it's just not my bag of tricks, you know? It kind of smells like dog without blatantly smelling like dog and a bizarre fruity combo.
There are perfectly good explainations for this combination. One is that we have a dog and the house only starts to smell like dog on about Wednesday. See, I am busy and only have time to clean once a week. I usually clean on Friday (this week I am starting today due to a giant list of errands to run tomorrow). In between cleaning, Shelby goes outside. She chews on her rawhyde. She takes food from her bowl and eats under the or in the living room. She rolls on the floors. That's just what a dog does. And right about Wednesday night it starts to smell a little like a dog lives here.
The fruit smell is all Jason. One thing I have learned about him since we moved in together is that he likes things that smell sweet. For instance, we have doggy deoderent for the carpet. He chose two scents: Melon Ball and Berry Blossom. The candles he bought for downstairs are strawberry kiwi scented. Our drier sheets are French vanilla and wild orchid, a surprisingly sweet and not very floral combination.
Myself, I'm more of an earthy smell type person. I like lavender and patculli(sp). That's not to say that I don't like some fruity or floral smells. I have some awesome pineapple pomegranate candles and a few coconut cove. I also have some bird of paradise candles. But I still prefer spiced vanilla or hazelnut. I just have some tropical and/or citrus fruit smells that I like. I also have champagne pear. Yum.
When we were candle shopping last time, Jason told me I could have the pineapple candles. (We buy the big pack at Walmart. It has two large candles and three votives.) I wanted the coconut lime.
Anyway, the point is that it drives me a little nuts and I think I might have to change that... |
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| Mission: Read some effing books! |
[Jun. 2nd, 2009|06:37 am] |
I woke up this morning (rather stiffly, actually) and looked around me. The house is in complete disaray. My homework is piling around my ears but I haven't had time to get into a pattern with it yet. I have a stack of books two foot high that I would like to read, some that I have to read buried somewhere in the stack. There are to fridges in my kitchen and a stove in my mud room (which needs to be cleaned up).
Today is my day off. I have some plans with Ashley but nothing that will take up too much of the day.
And so, I introduce to to Mission: Read some effing books! Today I am going to be working furiously on my children's lit project, then reading my textbooks and spending some time on the discussion boards for my class. By the end of the day, my reading should be done. I am also reorganizing my book stack. Previously, my books were stacked by due date which made it easier for me to keep an eye on. Now, my books are going to be stacked with those I HAVE to read first and then from fastest read to longest. That way I can blast through some books now, while I don't have much time, and read some of the longer ones at the end of June.
I am busy but it is time to get this under control. And, since it is my day off, I have decided to chill out a little bit too. I need to not run around like a chicken with her head cut off at least one day a week. I usually focus on that on Sunday but, well, that didn't happen this week.
Okay, deep breath, let's read some effing books! |
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